Sunday, April 29, 2012


I think I need a reset button. Not to go back in time and change shit, (that would a time machine, duh) but to just get a fresh start starting today. (Ooh, speaking of which, if you get a chance to watch the movie Repeaters, you should. It's on Netflix.) A reset button would just sort of put a hard stop to everything that is going on so you can take a fresh look and see if things are going the way you want them to. For example, if I hit my Reset Button today, I would NOT be going back to the Pink Cubicles of Boredom tomorrow. I would be back to staying home and thinking about going back to work again. I want a do-over, okay? There has got to be another way to do this, besides schlepping away in the sub-basement of a bank listening to my cubemate talk about what she had for dinner over and over and over ("prime rib with a loaded baked potato AND loaded sweet baked potato." You'd think it was the last supper.).

My boyfriend, The CPA, has a genius idea. We (which means I) should write a book on retiring before you are ready. I asked him how we would support ourselves in this before-we-are-ready-retirement and he said that was the genius part - I would write the book and we'd live off the money from that. Now I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure he is missing something in his plan. Like content. He said we could just make stuff up. I am going to major in CREATIVE writing after all, right? It's not a bad idea. I've read tons of books and blogs and articles on retiring early. It isn't so much that I want to retire though, it is just that I want work that is meaningful, pays the bills, and doesn't take more than 20 hours a week of my time. Oh, and I want to do it from home. What? I refuse to believe it is out of the realm of possibility.

Everyone has a different vision of retirement anyways so you really have to define it for yourself before you can go about trying to achieve it and live it. I don't see myself jetsetting around living the high life. I would just like to be able to choose on a day-to-day basis what I am going to do that day. Am I going to work? Am I going to mow my lawn? Am I going to volunteer? Am I going to drink a bottle (okay, box) of wine and watch a Walking Dead marathon? I want choices, that's all. I don't feel like I'm really asking all that much. I want out of the rat race, not he human race. I just have to figure out how to make it happen. And I will. I always land on my feet (or my back). The adventure continues...

-Jenny, Undecided

Wednesday, April 25, 2012


Really? I have spent the last two and a half days quite literally staring at the back wall of the Pink Cubicle of Boredom. Oh, wait, there was that TWO AND HALF HOUR process mapping meeting this morning that punctuated the nothingness of my new temp gig. Were it not for my fabulous imagination and doodling skills, I may have stabbed someone through the heart with my Bic. In addition to having a cube with no network connection, I also do not have a log-in ID yet. So, even if I DID have connectivity, I would still be without ability to connect. Again I say, really? Is it any wonder people wake up on Monday mornings and kill themselves? (We all know Monday has the highest suicide rate of all the days, right?)

At any rate, I knew it would suck, I had just forgetten how much it would suck. I just focused on making little to-do lists for myself, doodling, and reading all the books and magazines I had with me. (By the way, The Postmortal is AWESOME. Read it.) I felt a smidge guilty for sitting around reading and doodling on their dime, but I actually felt more angry at them that they didn't have shit for me to do. How can it take more than 24 hours to set up a log-in ID? Their IT people should be hanged and quartered. I need to stop ranting. Sorry.

At any rate... :) I will stick it out for awhile. I got turned down for unemployment, no shock there. I believe the letter from the Department said something along the lines of, "Any reasonable person would not have quit this job." I can't really argue with that. It is completely unreasonable to expect a bunch of moronic, greedy, evil sheep fuckers to present me with fulfilling and challenging work and reward me accordingly. That is kooky talk. I will forage my own path. I may appeal the unemployment thing just to annoy the hedge-fuckers, but that takes energy and I would like to focus my positive vibes on on what is in front of me, not what is behind me. I can be a vindictive bitch if I want to though so, we'll see.

Back to the Pink Cubicles of Boredom tomorrow. I will be heavily armed with text books, novels, and fresh doodling pens. The adventure continues...

-Jenny, Undecided

Monday, April 23, 2012

back at it

Back to the trenches today. I got the temp gig at the bank, working in the Pink Cubicles of Boredom. I guess my passive-aggressive negative energy wasn't strong enough, which is probably fine because I have become attached to my home and my child and my wiener dog and would like to be able to keep all three. Fortunately I have an 11:30 start time today - they are easing me into it I guess, like I'm coming off a maternity leave. They say you should do that, "ease" back into a job you detest after you have a baby. I say maternity leave is a good way to ease on OUT of a job you hate. If you loved what you did, you would be chomping at the bit to go back, you wouldn't have to ease yourself into it, right?

I do sort of feel like I've had another baby though. Me. The new and improved more creative and adventurous me. Perhaps I should rename myself, or start drinking breast milk again to celebrate. (Wait, is that weird?) I was out doing yard work yesterday and my across-the-street neighbor wished me a happy Earth Day (Who knew? Not me even though I try to live green and love my Mother Earth) and we got to talking. Apparently SHE quit corporate America last year and started her own videography company! Must be something in the water over here. So I'm going to hook up with her and her group of creative peeps and see what comes of it. If nothing else, it will be nice to get to know my across-the-street neighbors whom I have lived across the street from for eleven years now.

Now that I think about it, I guess this rebirth sort of makes geographical sense. When I bought my house eleven years ago I was literally surrounded by the aged. Immediately next door was a couple who were in their late 80's; two doors down a woman in her late 70's; across the street was a woman who was in her late 90's (she lived to be 101 and was still weeding her yard!), and across my other side street were THREE people in their 90's, a woman, her sister, and her brother-in-law. One by one they either moved to assisted living, moved to a nursing home, or died - or some combination of the three. I guess it was the old me's turn to pass on to the next phase too. Fortunately, for me and you and my kid and my wiener dog, I'm doing it symbolically and not "for reals." The adventure continues...

-Jenny, Undecided

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


Whew! Back from the Florida girls weekend. What fun! Lots of lounging and laughing was had. A few things came to my attention while I was there, they are as follows, and in no particular order of relevance:

1) I will never, ever make it on the Karoke circuit. I'm really awful.
2) I am a damn good tambourine player. Put that in the potential future jobs bucket.
3) Real estate might be a good career for me. I will put it on my list of things to be undecided about.
4) Some people just don't like to have fun and are always angry. Even in a bar. Even in Florida.

Anyways, here I am, back in the real world of the undecided again. I had an interview yesterday for a temp position in DT Minneapolis and am waiting to hear if I got it. I'm secretly hoping I didn't, as it sounds painfully dull AND is located in the SUB-basement of a building. Really? All summer in the Pink Cubicles of Boredom in a sub-basement? Ugh. I do need the money but not that bad and not quite yet. The upside is I would be DT and could lunch with my girlfriends now and then, but I can do that now, without having to work. I told the staffing agency I needed 10 days off this summer and they got all bent out of shape. They said that was an "excessive" amount of time for such a short assginment. The assignment goes through the end of the YEAR. Really? It is SUMMER. In MINNESOTA. Do they think just because people do work temp gigs they don't ALSO take vacation? Is it just me? It isn't like I was demanding to get paid for it. I don't get it. Anyways, they were all pissy about it so, that is why I'm thinking I may not get it. I have sent out sufficiently negative vibes on it so we will see what happens. (This is what is known as passive-aggressive job hunting.)

In addition, since I've been back, I called Metro State and have re-entered the world of part-time, non-traditional, working adult (in theory) student. I'm getting out of the College of Management though, finally, and moving to the College of Arts and Science to get a BA in Creative Writing. They assured me I don't have to take College Algebra so I may just get through the program. It is no wonder I have been enrolled for EIGHTEEN years and don't have a degree yet - I hate business! Who knew?? So I am really excited about that, and of course the mountains of debt I am sure to incur. Oh well, the mini-me and I can both repay our student loans on the same timeline. I have to wonder, again, how anyone has time to work when there is so much life to live?? The adventure continues...

- Jenny, Undecided

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

plan b

It as come to my attention that I need a Plan B. I will likely need a Plan C as well, the way my plans seem to be going these days. My first Plan B was to work temp at a place DT St. Paul, which I have done in the past, until I could clear up this Fingerprint Issue. Well it seems they don't have anything for me right now. Hmmm. Okay. So then I applied for Unemployment Insurance (UI), yes, in spite of the fact that I quit. People told me to! I really didn't want to though. I have ego issues, okay? Yes, pride goeth before the foreclosure, I know, but I didn't want to give The Turds the satisfaction of declining my request. We'll see what happens. Maybe they will approve just to avoid having to deal with me. I would.

So no temp work DT St. Paul, probably no UI. Fine, so I looked on-line for some other temp gigs and sent my resume in to a few. This morning I get an e-mail from one place. They have an opportunity in Oakdale. Great, that isn't that far from my house. But get this, at the end of the e-mail, in BIG, BOLD LETTERS, it says you must have a clean background - no felonies! no misdemeanors!! THIS MEANS YOU! So now I'm just paranoid. If I apply will they DO a background check, or are they just trying to flush out the scardey cats? And will anything actually come up? I had one done before working at The Hedge Fund and nothing came up there. Is this Fingerprint Issue just a pillar to keep me from re-entering normalcy??All the signposts seem to pointing me AWAY from getting a job. Seriously. Like ANY job. I mean, who knew it would be so hard to find a job with just a GED and a criminal record? Not me.

So, okay, since apparently the UNIVERSE doesn't want me to work, is Plan C just taking my life savings and buying a bunch of lottery tickets? Do I sell my house and all my possessions and live in my RV? Do I start knocking over liquor stores?? Do I (God forbid) move in with my mother? None of these seem like viable options.Well, except the RV, which I would totally do if I didn't have a kid to think about. He would think it was fun until his friends started asking him why his mother was homeless. I know I have to start thinking more creatively about generating streams of income, rather that just finding a "job", but I have been working at "jobs" for the last 25 years so it is slow to come. I should probably recruit a bunch of actors and have a focus group. I bet I could get a gig waiting tables, they don't usually do background checks, do they?

I'm leaving for Cape Coral tomorrow morning with my posse. They are all intelligent, creative, awesome women, maybe between fruity drinks and reading trashy mags we can come up with a Plan D. The adventure continues...

-Jenny, Undecided

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I did it

I did it. I quit my day job. I had something else lined up, but there’s been a, uh, glitch. So, here I sit, unemployed for eight weeks. No unemployment (I quit). Some savings (maybe 4 months). I should be worried but for some inexplicable reason, I’m really not. It felt right to quit and it feels right not to be worried. It feels like an adventure.
My day job sucked. I worked at a hedge fund rife with assholes. I didn’t mind the work so much as the people. And not even most of the people, just the few flaming farts at the top of the dung heap. At the end they had me doing work in accounting and I am not an accountant so, that part was a drag. I mean, yes, I get that the numbers need to be all matchy-matchy, but what if they aren’t? I didn’t know enough about any of it to solve my own problems, which for me really is key. I’m a problem solver, which is why I am such a kick-ass office manager.
So, one day, (Why, yes, yes it was a Monday, how did you know?) I just picked up my purse and coat, went to lunch, and never came back. I e-mailed my boss and told her what a turd she and my manager both were. Trust me, they were colossal turds. I’ll go into more of that later. Maybe. I’m sort of over it now though. Eight weeks to overcome the PTSD-induced rage feels about right. So now I’m faced with the delicious dilemma of What To Do Next?
Oh, right, so I did have this job lined up, which is part of the reason I felt so footloose and fancy free as to just walk out on my old job. However, this NEW job required a background check, fingerprints and all, and that was the aforementioned glitch. Apparently, (who knew?) I have some sort of criminal thingy on my record from like 25 years ago when I was running fast and loose in the lovely City of Angels. But it is tied to someone else’s name. Yeah, seems messy. So, I need to look into that. I promise, more on that later for sure.
In the meantime though I DO need to figure something out. I do need some positive cash flow. I mean, I have a mortgage, a kid, and pudgy wiener dog to support. Not to mention my own hobbies and habits that need care and feeding. I did do a pretty good job of eliminating the excess right off the bat though. I sold my newish car and bought my mom’s older-ish car (no interest financing, thanks mom!), I dropped my gym membership since my kid declared he was done with swimming lessons (“Mom, I just want to make it through the holidays,” he wailed. Really? Because…it is April...??? He makes me laugh.), I actually started LOOKING at the prices in the grocery store (crazy, I know), and I explained very gently to my son, “Mommy doesn’t have a job. No more toys. Go outside and play with a stick.”
So as you can see, I have my expenses totally under control. Other than that though, things are pretty Undecided. The adventure continues…
-Jenny, Undecided